| |
 |
 |
|
 “I don’t think the Christmas break poses a risk to our concentration, but to be entirely happy I definitely need football.”
Jose Mourinho can only eat his turkey if the baubles on the tree are sponsored by Nike and Adidas
“When I am old and grey, I can sit by the fire with my grandchildren and tell them of all the top stars I trained…”
What do you mean ‘when’, Carlo Ancelotti?
“From top of the world to top model. Poor, poor Milan.”
A banner at San Siro doesn’t exactly swoon at David Beckham’s unveiling
“Zinedine Zidane is the greatest of players, an idol, an icon and an exceptional person. This is why I always try to imitate him.”
Marco Materazzi had better watch out if he’s marking Beckham in the derby
“I've got a very down-to-earth family.”
Mr Victoria Beckham is like everyone else, he puts his Armani jeans on one leg at a time
“Beckham is known throughout the world for what he has achieved in his career from Manchester United to Real Madrid.”
That’s one way of putting it, Adriano Galliani
“I’m sure many will have something to say about Beckham, but in response I point out they said the same about Ronaldinho.”
We don’t recall people calling Becks a bucktoothed samba dancer, Ancelotti…
“Can anyone tell me the time?”
At least Marek Hamsik hasn’t lost his sense of humour after carjackers stole his Rolex watch
“Right now Catania are our Arsenal.”
The reason for the tension in Sicily is revealed as someone mis-heard Luciano Spalletti’s comment and took offence
“I don’t like this place. At the final whistle there are always so many people who come on to the field. In order to get my son on to the Olimpico pitch to celebrate with me, I have to make endless official requests, but here there always seem to be 3,000 people. It’s not right.”
Simone Perrotta wonders why Catania are allowed to count the people on the pitch as part of the attendance
“They have a very passionate crowd who are close to the squad. So much that last season it felt as if the fans were playing, too.”
That would explain why Spalletti’s Roma were always outnumbered in midfield
“Spalletti plays with a ‘fake’ centre-forward.”
Walter Zenga confirms what we all suspected, that Francesco Totti is a robot doll
“The only thing I miss about England is the fixtures during the Christmas holidays, because this is a fantastic time to play football and make thousands of fans happy.”
We thought Jose would miss the weather…
“The draw was diabolical, but the English sides are just as afraid of the Italians.”
Fabio Capello thinks Beelzebub really wanted to see Inter v Manchester United
“Like all games between Italy and England it will be great to see how calcio fares against the money men.”
Claudio Ranieri is hoping Chelsea get credit crunched
“On a personal level, I only want to thank Roman Abramovich because working under him was the first time I could ask for any player and not worry about money.”
But afterwards Ranieri felt so used…
“Manchester will bring back lots of great memories for me.”
Mourinho will stop and smile at the spot on the Old Trafford field where he flung himself atop a pile of Porto players
“We can't let ourselves be fooled by the name of our opponents.”
Someone needs to tell Mazzarri that Ukrainian club Metalist aren’t really Cybermen
“La Nazionale? For me, that is a closed chapter.”
Antonio Cassano is at pains to point out he can read
“The statistics are like X-Rays for a team.”
Ranieri sings his own personal version of ‘Dem Points’
“Beckham has arguably been the most famous footballer in the world in recent years and supporters of all ages will be eager to see him in the flesh.”
Hasn’t Rangers chief executive Martin Bain seen those underwear posters? No lack of flesh there…
“We gave away so very little and I am very satisfied.”
Tis the season to be Walter ‘Scrooge’ Mazzarri
“You should come and watch us in the week if you want to know our secret - the intensity in training is the same as matches and that's how you build something special.”
Cristian Chivu explains how he got that black eye in training
“It's always sad to lose, but we had to focus on the Milan game on Sunday.”
Considering Pasquale Marino’s Udinese went on to lose that tie 5-1, they may need ADD medication
“If you have five bad minutes out of 180, you will be out."
Six out of 120 will suffice, as Milan discovered in Istanbul, Arsene Wenger
“The referee made an error, but there is nothing we can do about that now and it has been discussed enough. Everything that happens is in good faith now and things are different to how they were a few years ago.”
Massimo Moratti's hunter becomes the hunted
“I'd say it was a strong draw, but not a severe one.”
Milan director Silvano Ramaccioni is suffering from a mild case of Werder Bremenitis
“When I sign a contract, I think I’m staying there for life.”
Rossi makes a terrible houseguest, too
“It would be a utopian vision to expect massive changes in the space of three days.”
At least Bepi Pillon isn’t turning Reggina into an H.R. Giger style hellscape
“If Jimenez doesn't play when the team has a diamond midfield and Stankovic is suspended, then when will he play?”
On Sunday morning in the pub league, Mourinho?
“Before Christmas is never an easy situation with so many parties, so we tried to keep the team concentrated.”
Mou banned champagne, brandy butter, mulled wine and mistletoe, just to be on the safe side
“If a team wins when it doesn't deserve to, then that gives you eight consecutive victories and proves the mentality of champions.”
Or it makes Jose a jammy so-and-so who gets the Scudetto race terribly dull
“I am usually very calm on the field when my team scores as a consequence of good football, so that reaction was pure surprise and joy at the unexpected.”
Throwing Mourinho a surprise birthday party runs the risk of him jumping on you
“The small clubs are congratulated by the big sides, but it is useless because at the end of the day we’re the ones who were beaten.”
No need to be rude, Marco Giampaolo
“I don’t understand why the stronger sides are always given the advantage by officials.”
With Luciano Moggi out of the picture, Siena full-back Cristiano Del Grosso is back to square one
“This side is not completely mature yet.”
Edy Reja must postpone the launch of his new Napoli Cheese Platter
“As players we want to apologise to the Coach, the club and the fans. We promise that we will find our way back soon.”
Antonio Di Natale’s first day as a tour guide could've gone better
“Totti is the right age for another World Cup.”
FIGC President Giancarlo Abete asks Age Concern to sponsor the Italy squad
“We must take into account that with every goal Amauri scores, the more we feel the public pressure because everyone is waiting for the announcement that he is an Italian.”
Abete can get all the paperwork he wants, but that won’t make Amauri any less Brazilian
|
|
|
|
| |
